Tuesday, 13 February 2018

My Journey to the New York Bar - Confronted by a stranger

At the beginning of January 2016, I took the day off work and went to London to attend an open day held by BarBri International. Although I had already decided to enroll onto BarBri's U.S bar review course starting in March that year, I wanted to meet some of the course tutors, mentors and other students to get more of an insight into what I had chosen to do.

The open day was very informative and I left knowing that this was exactly what I wanted to do. As I had a bit of time to spare before traveling back to Nottingham, I decided to sit in Cafe Nero and treat myself to a hot chocolate and some cake. Needless to say, in the end I did not get the chance to enjoy the hot chocolate because an inconsiderate stranger intruded on my quiet time!

As I started sipping into the hot chocolate and began reading the literature given to me at the open day, a gentleman sat next to me noticed it and asked me about it. He mentioned that he was a qualified lawyer in England and without using any functioning brain cells linked to awareness, intelligence, empathy and consideration (or maybe not), he said to me "but you have a stammer, why would you want to sit the New York Bar, it's tough." (I guessed he picked up on the stammer during the conversation).

My eyebrows rose up so high and I had to think twice about the ignorant comments I had just heard! I was in disbelief! He kept commenting (as if he was on repeat mode) how someone "like me" should focus more on jobs where I would be more comfortable and where I would not need to speak much because doing the bar exam was overly ambitious and setting myself up for difficulties.

I don't know why I allowed him to keep talking, but when I had heard enough, I abruptly told him to stop talking because I didn't want to hear anymore of his negative comments. When he tried to explain his points of view further by telling me he was only thinking about me (haha yeah right!), I cut him off! I knew exactly what was behind all of this and I was not going to let the negative words infiltrate inside of me to make me question or doubt what I had decided to pursue!

I reminded him that he should be careful about making such comments and not to judge my intellectual and academic ability because of the way I speak. There are lawyers at partner level in law firms who are deaf, some deaf and mute, others who are blind and communicate through an assistant, but their disabilities do not impede from doing their job.

My quest to keep this as private as possible to avoid such situations, still did not impede it from taking place and this is how things are in life. No matter what we do or do not do, they will always be someone who will have something to say. But when we know who we are, what we are doing and why we are doing it, other peoples' comments will not deter us from our goal; in fact it will add more fuel to the fire that is already burning inside of us to keep going, keep pursing, to show to others it can be done! And that is what I did!

I was tired of being put into a box and shoved in the corner. At 27 years old, I decided enough was enough. I should be allowed to pursue what I have faith to pursue, even if I did not meet the status quo. That's what faith is for....to move mountains, jump over hurdles, and break down barriers!

I found the picture I took on the day, of the hot chocolate I did't get to enjoy lol

Thursday, 4 January 2018

My Journey to the New York Bar - In pursuit, silently and discreetly.

My decision to sit the New York Bar exam and qualify as an Attorney in the U.S was solely based on the dream and vision that had awakened within me, one that I truly believe God gave me.

I didn't consult anyone when making the decision. Once I was fully decided and registered for the Bar Review Course, I told a select group of family and friends and my manager (as I would need to reduce my hours at work and have time off to sit the exams). I decided to keep this as private as possible. I used to be the kind of person who would seek approval from others. Whenever I had an idea that seemed good or I was thinking about doing something or travelling somewhere, I would always consult someone, either a friend, family member, or one of my peers.

Looking back, there were things I wanted to pursue but was talked out of it. Due to not being defined and knowing what I wanted and also because of my respect for the person advising me and my belief that they knew better, I listened to them. But later, I felt frustrated because the other option given didn't produce much and I regretted not doing what I believed was good for me.

There are people who out of love and concern for us, advise us not to pursue something because they think it's not in our best interests. They mean no harm. And there are others who try to put their limitations on us because they do not have the same mindset, vision, courage or faith to do what we are doing or want to do. They think we are being overly ambitious and the risk is not worth it.

In both situations, we have to be very careful not to allow other peoples opinions to interfere or divert us from the calling we wholeheartedly believe we have or the career path we have chosen.

I didn't keep silent about my plans just to avoid people coming to me with their opinions or suggestions of what I should or shouldn't do, but also because I learned that when we talk too much about something, most of the time we get little or nothing done. The energy we put in discussing what we want to do could be put into actually doing it! When I started doing this (and it's something I continue to do) things actually starting happening and moving forward.

I remember there was a period where people were making comments to my face and behind my back, saying that I was spending too much time travelling to America and other places, spending money, instead of focusing on investing and building my life. Little did they know, that's exactly what I was doing! The times I travelled to the U.S was either to sit the different exams required to qualify as a U.S lawyer or to gain work experience out there. I was very selective of what I posted on social media, not to disclose everything I was doing, so a lot of the time it looked like I was just sightseeing and having fun. But in truth those touristic places I visited were usually while on a study break, on my way to and from the library or a meeting. That's why you shouldn't believe everything you see on social media. It's not always a true reflection of what a person has or what they are doing.

Thursday, 7 December 2017

My Journey To The New York Bar - Being Intentional, Living on Purpose

After spending the summer gaining legal work experience in New York, I came back home to England and everything I did from that moment was focused on qualifying as a lawyer in the U.S. I started to act intentionally and with a purpose.

I started a new position at the company I worked for. The role was an advisory role, providing advice over the telephone. Up until that moment, as a person with a stammer, I had "avoided" or "limited" myself from talking to people over the phone and having lengthy conversations with people I didn't know. This was because I stammered more when speaking over the telephone and felt more comfortable speaking to people face to face.

The new job would require me to speak to between 20-40 people everyday about serious and sensitive issues and providing clear and accurate advice and information over the phone. I saw it as preparation for what I was now pursing, because as a lawyer, I would be put in situations where I would have to hold conference calls, do presentations, attend court hearings and lengthy trials and many other things. If I couldn't come out of my comfort zone and advice people over the telephone, how would I be able to deliver as a lawyer when communicating verbally in certain environments?

I learnt and developed a lot from this role. I worked there for one year before moving on to something else, and it was definitely a job that helped me to come out of my comfort zone, boosted my confidence and developed my knowledge and understanding of family law issues and the role of our local government's social services.

When I started the job, I had 5 months to go before I would commence the bar review course to prepare for the New York Bar Exam. I decided to do some independent background reading on the United States Constitution and contract law, to familiarise myself with some U.S law. I did this in between working and other commitments.

 I also decided that I would not take any holidays or trips abroad. Everything I engaged in had to solely be for my personal development and qualifying as a U.S lawyer. I could not afford to be side tracked or spend money unnecessarily because I knew the journey to the New York Bar would cost me a lot of money, effort, dedication and time.

Wednesday, 29 November 2017

My Journey to the New York Bar - Redeeming The Time

Redeeming the time for me at that moment was to go to New York and do a legal internship.

Several years before, which was during my second year at university, I chose to study a  module called The Justice Process. It was focused on studying both the criminal justice system and the civil justice process in North America. We had an option to do an eight to ten week  internship in a law firm in the U.S or to write an essay about a particular topic. I chose to do an internship in New York and secured one at a Brooklyn law firm that practiced criminal and personal injury law.

From what I recall, everybody else on the course chose the southern  states like Indiana, Mississippi and Texas but I chose New York. It just appealed to me more and I remember my professor telling me that I had to find my own placement because they did not have connections with places in New York. I contacted a lot of different law offices and firms in New York to secure a placement myself.

I was preparing myself for this once in a lifetime opportunity, however about 5 weeks before I was due to go, I cancelled the whole thing. It was a personal decision I made due to a particular situation I was facing at the time. No one around me understood, especially my dad who insisted I went, "even if he had to drag me on the plane", but I was adamant I was no longer going. It was not an easy decision to make and I had to contact the law office to inform them, as well as other people who were going to assist me during my stay there.

Fast forward to that Saturday morning in September 2014 while cleaning the house,  when it came to my mind that the time had come for me to redeem the opportunity I 'gave away'. Two months later,  I went to visit relatives in Maryland for Thanksgiving and spent a few days in New York to get a "feel of the place."

Before the trip I was just thinking about  doing an internship to finally do what I always wanted to do and cross it off the 'bucket list', but God had now opened my vision to  actually qualify as a U.S lawyer and practice law internationally. I went to the United States with a purpose, and everything I did from that moment on, I did to work towards the dream that had now awakened within me.

I went back to New York at the end of May 2015 for three months and did an internship and also pro bono work, providing legal advice and assistance to low income families and residents of New York City.  During that year, the New York Bar Association had implemented a new requirement that applicants had  to fulfil 50 hours of pro bono work as part of their application for admission as an attorney.  I found out that I could use the pro bono work I was doing, as part of the 50 hours requirement for my application. Without even knowing, I was doing certain things to assist me on my journey to the New York Bar.

Monday, 27 November 2017

My Journey to the New York Bar - That pivotal moment

I'm going to take you back to 2014 which was the pivotal moment where my vision opened and my career started to steer in another direction.

During that year I was very dissatisfied with my career. I had already recovered from certain personal issues I had experienced, finally got a decent paying full time job and had a regular steady income to pay my rent, bills and daily expenses and even travel. But I felt restricted. I was dissatisfied because I knew there was more to me and for me than this. I'm not knocking the job or company I was working for at the time, but I reasoned with myself that I didn't go to university, study law and even train as a paralegal just to do admin work.

Although I was paralegaling on the side, it still wasn't enough for me. But I didn't know what to do or where to go. I knew that I didn't want to go back to law school and resume the Legal Practice Course (LPC), which is the course you take before coming a trainee solicitor in England and Wales, because the course fees were so expensive, around £10,000. I previously had to leave the LPC  half way through due to experiencing homelessness and I was not in a good way emotionally. I was 'ready' to go back and finish what I started, but at the same it was not what I wanted anymore. I was also finding it hard to get a full time job as a paralegal because whenever I had interviews I would be questioned about having a stammer and they (not me) saw it as an impediment for me to work directly with clients; even though I had previously worked in a call centre and as an advisor, and had no issues with that.

So I started paralegaling independently. I found my own clients which were charities, organisations, businesses and individuals. Still it wasn't enough for me. I remember during that year I did a lot of "soul searching". I spent a lot of time alone, figuring out who I was, what I liked, what I was good at and what I wanted.

I would spend time alone at the park, go for walks (this is where my love for nature was awakened), spend time researching online. I was really seeking what to do to. I had a mentor at the time and she is the one who helped me to develop my relationship with God and be defined in my faith because both would be crucial in establishing true happiness, being stable emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially and in all aspects of my life really.

It was June 2014 and I had reached a point where I was ready for a change. I didn't know what exactly but I wanted a change. I remember speaking to God saying that I wanted Him to do something new in me and in my life. I wanted new things. I wasn't specific because I didn't know what to ask for but it's like I just gave everything to Him, in words and in deeds. I was always seeking what to do and one morning while I was cleaning a house (I used to do house cleaning at the weekends to make extra money), I heard the words "redeem the time because the days are evil", while listening to an audio message, which caught my attention. I even remember the room and what part I was cleaning, until this day lol.

After listening to the message I started thinking about what this meant for me and how I could do this.... It was then that an opportunity I had been given but gave up during my second year at university, came to mind....It was now time for me to redeem the time and go back and do that very thing...

Sunday, 26 November 2017

My Journey to the New York Bar - Introduction

Today, I am starting a short series sharing with you my journey to the New York Bar.

At the beginning of my bar exam preparation last year, I actually wrote a journal documenting almost everything I went through from making necessary adjustments in my life and to my schedule, battling with feelings and thoughts, experiencing set backs etc. It was quite therapeutic writing down things as they were happening or had just happened.

When people hear I sat and passed the New York Bar exam to qualify as a US lawyer they ask me why? What made me choose this path? What I tell them does not even answer the question fully because during the journey and even as I draw to the end of it, I am discovering that the whole thing is more than just qualifying and being licensed to practice law in certain jurisdictions. It's not even about me, there's a bigger picture to all this.

You know, there are things we are inspired to do but it's only when everything is materialised, that we really discover or understand the reason why we were led to do it. At times, during the process of achieving certain things, who we become as a person during the process, is more important than what we set out achieve.

Thursday, 6 July 2017

Style Sunday - Black and White with patterns

This is actually a blouse I bought from a boutique in Manhattan, New York back in Winter 2014.

As the weather is warm and I decided to wear it as a blazer over a white vest.