Friday, 31 July 2015

My American Adventure: Learning from my American friends




I was thinking about all the amazing and very nice people I've met so far in New York, especially those who I have had the privilege to work with and befriend and I realized that hardly any of them have complained or moaned about life or it's misfortunes. They just get on with things.

 In England, I'm used to people complaining about everything, from the weather, to the government to the fact that there still single or they don't have enough money or opportunities, but here it's been different. The complaints I've heard are from the clients (that's why they come to us in the first place) but from my colleagues, those I've ate and sat with, they haven't uttered a word of complaint. If anything, they've all had positive things to pass on, sharing their life experiences, aspirations for the future and so forth.

 We've had some pretty cool conversations and even though we have spoken about controversial topics it's been constructive comments. In fact, I realized through them just how much of a complainer I really was and even in past and recent blog posts, I complained through my writing, something that makes me feel uncomfortable just thinking about it now. I don't know if it's because of their maturity, professionalism or part of their character but the people I'm around are very cautious and careful about what they say and comment on. If they don't have anything to say they don't open their mouth. They'd rather keep quiet than speak random things.

 I really respect them and it has helped me to change and I noticed that I can ramble on about something for ages and by that time it's lost its meaning or structure (if that's even the right words describe lol). Through refusing to talk about the current issues that have been highlighted in the media in relation to Sandra Bland and others, my fellow black people have taught me that there's no point commenting on these things because 1) this has been going on for many years and nothing has changed, its just that the media is only now deciding to broadcast it and 2) unless what we discuss is going to actually change things why open our mouth and speak? It only causes heartache, anger, frustration and hate. We are adding more fuel to the fire. The best thing is to pray and and educate ourselves and our children on the best way to behave, handle such situations if they were to ever happen to us and live our lives honestly and carefully.


 I wrote a controversial status on my Facebook page a few weeks ago about homicide among the black community and a friend of mine advised me to remove it because of the unwanted attention I would get. I did get a few comments before I removed it and I saw that the status did cause a bit of an argument among those who are my friends, not agreeing with comments made etc. The truth is, I had no business putting my opinion about such a topic on Facebook because that was not the correct platform to express my views. It didn't even concern 80% of the people on my facebook and what would I achieve? If I were at a conference or event where these issues were being addressed and raised then yes, that would be appropriate because it was the right place and time. I

I'm learning sooo much from my wise American friends and colleagues and I'm gutted that soon this adventure will come to an end. I want August to go as slow as

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